Monthly Archives: May 2010

No Feathers for the (Sexually) Weak

“No young man can afford to sleep on feathers, nor beneath them. The custom, in the country, of sleeping either on feathers or under feather beds, while seemingly very desirable or essential on account of comfort, because of the intensely cold room in which people oftentimes sleep in rural districts, is yet injurious and is carefully to be avoided by those who seek strong bodies and good physical powers. . . . Feathers are too heating. Even when lying on the side of the body the feathers are apt to press against the back and spine, and thus result in unduly heating the spinal column, which always tends to physical and sexual weakness, and often produces it.

A good mattress of some sort, excepting cotton, or even a hard bed, is much to be preferred. No young man who is troubled with sexual weakness can hope to attain entire relief so long as he sleeps upon feathers or uses a feather bed as a covering. Prefer a hard bed.”

–What a Young Man Ought to Know

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Goodness, what doesn’t drive young men to masturbate?

Caressing the Feminine Outlet

“If you are just starting your sex life together or if past wifely satisfaction has not led to full feminine sexual awakening, caresses of the clitoris will stir ardor much more effectively than deeper friction. Even after years of married life, you will probably want to keep most husbandly caresses at or near the feminine outlet.”

–The Marriage Art

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Wow, this guy has a singular talent for sapping every ounce of sexy out of a sex manual.

Mirror, Mirror

“Billy only a few months ago had round chubby cheeks. One day he looked in the mirror to realize that his face is longer and thinner, more masculine.

Laura couldn’t properly apply lipstick despite endless practice and, when she did try, she looked silly. Then, as if by magic, Laura acquired the knack and looked as if she had been wearing lipstick all her life. Now when she looks into the mirror, the face she sees has grown up. She’s old enough to wear lipstick.”

–What Teenagers Want to Know

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Apparently women eat an average of seven pounds of lipstick during their lifetime. So while Bill’s mug magically transforms him from plump kid to chiseled hottie, poor Laura is cramming more lipstick into her craw.

Just Lie Back and Think of England

“As a couple, you cannot always wait for passionate feminine desire before proceeding with sexual intercourse. In order to build a sound sex life together, you must satisfy the husband’s needs from the very start, and in the process develop the wife’s erotic nature. Relaxed and willing service to a loved and loving husband provides a wife with steadily deepening emotional satisfaction—which ultimately burgeons into anticipatory passion, keen sexual excitement, and the intense reward of orgasm.”

–The Marriage Art

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This is the first paragraph in a whole confusing chapter about building “female fervor.” Basically, wifey needs to just wait her damn turn — eventually, she’ll get her orgasm. Or not. The author is really pretty oh-well on the topic.

We’ve Come a Long Way, Baby . . . Sorta

Talkin' Tampons

We live in a day and age when television ads depict young women flailing about in a swimming pool pretending to be a packet of birth control pills, so it’s no surprise that ad copy portraying other sorts of women’s products are equally audacious. In the ad, the women brazenly stride out of the pool, shedding their inhibitions along with parts of their swimsuit.

Rabbit Write recounts a time when advertisements for menstrual products were far more modest (though admittedly baffling at times).

Image from GladRags

Got Love?

“Yes, love is a woman’s whole life.

Some modern women might object to this. They might say that this was true of the woman of the past, who was excluded from all other avenues of human activity. The woman of the present day has other interests besides those of Love. But I claim that this is true of only a small percentage of women; and in even this small minority of women, social, scientific, or artistic activities cannot take the place of love . . .

Nothing can fill the void made up by the lack of love. The various activities may help cover up the void, to protect it from strange eyes, but they cannot fill it. For essentially women is made for love. Not exclusively but essentially, and a woman who has had no love in her life has been a failure.”

–Woman: Her Sex and Love Life

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Really, anyone who reads Cathy on a regular basis already knows this.

Ack, indeed.

Kids Are Stimulated by the Darndest Things

“Whatever stimulates the emotions leads to an unnaturally early sexual life. Late hours, children’s parties, sensational novels, ‘flashy’ papers, love stories, the drama, the ball-room, talk of beaux, love and marriage, –that atmosphere of riper years which is so often and so injudiciously thrown around childhood, –all hasten the event which transforms the girl into the woman.”

–The Physical Life of Woman

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My goodness! Apparently children’s parties and “flashy papers” were a lot more interesting in the 1890s.


May Hussy of the Month

Spring is upon us, and you know what that means: wanton women emerging from their cocoons, casting off their sweaters and scarves in favor of thin fabrics and plenty of impropriety. This month we have not one but three hussies – the Brox Sisters , who absolutely baffle one’s common sense by appearing naked-limbed, in their nightgowns, and in bed.

Their poor, poor mother.

How to Train Your Teenage Boy

“Some boys can’t quite do the asking face-to-face the first time; they feel more comfortable using the telephone. But whether personally or by telephone, the first rule is to ask a girl for a date at least a week in advance. Girls don’t like being called at 7:30 to do something at 8:00 that evening.”

–The Life Cycle Library

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I mean no offense to our male readership, but I can’t imagine any teenage boy having the wherewithal to ask a week in advance for anything.