Insatiable Sexual Nature, You Say?

“Sometimes, even where a woman is endowed with fair physical powers and would make a helpful and congenial companion if she were equally mated, yet in her ignorance she consents to marry a man of great amative powers and of an insatiable sexual nature — a man with a thick neck, deep chest, with almost unlimited physical endurance — a man who does not know that he has a single nerve in his entire body and one who cannot appreciate the fact that any other person has any. Such a union cannot be the source of anything but misery for both parties in the compact.”

What a Young Man Ought to Know

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Aw, I think someone’s jealous.

Gender Roles: A Diorama

“As ethnography teaches us, in every case where there is a question of functional power, woman shows more staying capacity, while man is capable of a greater momentary effort. In the scheme of reproduction the sexual division of labour goes back to the hermaphroditic period; it is indeed the oldest division of labour in the world, and analgously in the history of man, the first economic division of labour was made when the man went hunting or fighting, while the woman stayed at home to keep things in order. So from the earliest times our sexual organisation has been the ruling factor in every detail of our lives. Indeed even before birth we see a picture of the sexual life in miniature, how manfully the sperm-cell marches forward, while the egg-cell stays quietly at home.”

–How to Attain and Practice the Ideal Sex Life

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I want to see this illustrated: the sperm-cell commuting to work, and the egg-cell at home, watching her “stories” and smoking a cig. C’mon — who has Ye Olde Photoshoppe?

A Rosette by Any Other Name

“On the wedding night especially, relative impotence is a common occurence, and is then mostly caused only by the unusual nature of the situation. Generally it is, like the tightness of the bride, a proof of chastity; one does not so soon master the technique of copulation, and easily gets lost in the rosette of folds forming the vulva.”

How to Attain and Practice the Ideal Sex Life

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“Oh my. Dearest Henry, have we begun yet, darling?”

“Just a moment, my pet. I’m trying to navigate the tangled briar of your womanhood.”


End scene.

Why I’m a Side Sleeper

[On preventing nocturnal emissions]

“I believe this precaution of keeping the bladder empty at night to be more important than almost anything else in the simpler cases, and that it will be usually successful. I have known an enema (injection) of a half-pint of cold water, used at bedtime, to work well where other means have not produced satisfactory results.

Tying a towel around the waist so as to bring a hard knot opposite the spine will, by preventing the patient from lying on his back, often prevent emissions.*

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*An effective and satisfactory device, to prevent lying on the back and its attendent evils, can be had for 50 cents from the publishers of this book.”

What a Young Man Ought to Know

According to this site, a person who sleeps on his back is shy and reserved. You’d think they’d mention the whole wet dreams thing.

July Hussy of the Month


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While searching for a properly patriotic July HOM, I came across Emma Goldman, shown here in a 1878 mug shot. Sure, she isn’t attempting to lure men (and, if rumors are to be believed, members of her own sex!!) by showing a sneaky peek at her shapely leg or upper arm. But believe you me, with her illicit past as an anarchist, staunch supporter of women’s rights and social issues, dispenser of birth control, outspoken critic of marriage, and potential assassin of industrialist Henry Clay Frick, she’s every bit of a hussy as they come.

Ms. Goldman was also a proponent of “free love,” a philosophy that we all know leads to immoral and disgusting acts of amorousness.

You may ask why Ms. Goldman was chosen as July’s HOM, a month set aside to celebrate all things American. Simply put, Emma Goldman stood for some of America’s favorite things: sex, violence, and progress.

The Indolent Don’t Have It So Easy After All

“In relation to the amount of the [menstrual] discharge, every woman is a law unto herself. Usually, it is four or five ounces in all. Habits of life are apt to modify it materially. Here, again, those exposed to prolonged cold and inured to severe labor escape more easily than their sisters petted in the lap of luxury. Delicate, feeble, nervous women — those, in other words, who can least afford the loss of blood — are precisely those who lose the most. Nature, who is no tender mother, but a stern step-mother, thus punishes them for disregarding her laws. Soft couches, indolent ease, highly spiced food, warm rooms, weak muscles — these are the infractions of her rules which she revenges with vigorous, ay, merciless severity.”

–The Physical Life of Woman

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You lazy, lazy women need to get off of your chaise lounges and quit bleeding so goddamn much.

Checklist for Keeping Your Husband Happy

1. Firm and graceful body.

2. Be at home when he arrives. (If you must work, try to arrange it so you’re home first.)

3. Clothes, sexy — for your evenings home.

4. Be interested in him and the things he does.

5. A good conversationalist.

6. A bright smile over morning coffee. (This paints a good mental picture of you for all day.)

7. Nice voice (keep it soft and musical; also a pretty laugh).

8. Excess fat (taboo).

9. Well-set hair (brushed and clean).

10. Mentally alert (try reading).

11. Pin-curls (if they are a must, pin up after the lights are out and wear a bed cap).

12. Perfume — just for him, when he’s home.

13. A regular manicure.

14. A weekly pedicure.

–How to Keep Your Husband Happy (LP)

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Ladies, I know it’s difficult and it hurts your tender, pretty little brains, but at least try to read, would you?

This is the first time I’ve used an album as a text, rather than just books and pamphlets. But my golly, is this one a doozy. The entire back sleeve of the LP is a rambling diatribe of absurd betterment advice, exercise instruction, and a healthy dose of self-loathing. Very odd, very entertaining. And thanks to Miss Morgan for donating it to the Hersteria Library!