Ring-a-Ding-Ding: Marriage and Nudity

[Under the subheading of "Reminders of Past Glories"]

A wife who ordinarily keeps her more intimate parts concealed from her husband’s wandering eye can arouse him mightily  by baring her breast or letting her robe fall away from her naked thigh. Such glimpses soon come to mean as much to him as an ardent caress — his subconscious mind signals that they mean sexual joy, just as the tinkling bell signaled Pavlov’s dogs that food was on the way.

But what if she bares her whole body to him morning and night in matter-of-fact disrobement? Will her smooth breast still stir his passion after he has watched her dress a dozen times when sexual encounter was remote? Even though you might not think it sensible to dress behind a screen when every inch of your anatomy is thoroughly familiar to your mate, free display of absolute nudity as an everyday event robs you of an otherwise effective means of arousing his ardor.”

–The Marriage Art

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Wait… so, a woman has to ring a bell while baring a breast? Will the guy get turned on or hungry? Do you keep the bell inside the night stand, or ring it from behind the screen? Do you zap him with a mild shock if he doesn’t get in the mood?

I know I’ve said it before, but I really can’t get over that this book was written in the 1960s. This attitude seems such a turn-of-the-century, “Show us a bit of ankle, Mildred” sort of thing. Yes, this is the same author who advised men how to caress the feminine outlet and women to suck it up and deliver the goods.

Dick Is Sexy (SFW, I swear)

“When “J,” author of The Sensuous Woman, put together her list of the top “sexy” men, Dick Cavett was up at the top of the list. Women don’t care that Cavett isn’t six feet tall–they are entranced by his wit, his intelligence, and his self-deprecatory charm. And women would find the boyish Cavett sexy even if he weren’t a star. He’s got it.”

The Sensuous Man

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Is Dick Cavett (the non-felt fellow, center) the Sexiest Man Alive? You be the judge.

Painted Ladies (No Make-Up Week Edition)

via old magazine articles

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Dearest readers,

Today we’re going to discuss something that affects many of us in varying degrees whether we wear it or not. I’m talking about cosmetics–eye shadow, lipstick, rouge, the whole lot. Ms. Rabbit Write has declared this week as No Make-up Week, and she invites women everywhere to put down the face paint and put some thought into what and why they make themselves up.

Yes, I’m aware that Ms. Rabbit Write is a sex blogger, and a redhead at that. But, like our suffragette sisters before us (and trust me, some of them were total tramps), we must band together for the cause.

In solidarity, I offer the following Hersteria advice and helpful hints.


“A minimum of makeup, applied properly and sparingly, will accentuate natural good looks. The rule is: use less for daytime than evening; less for school than parties; and never, never, apply makeup in public… Remember to sit and stand tall at all times — a ‘slouch’ may look so tired that a boy would fear she’d fall asleep on a date.”

–The Life Cycle Library

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“Laura couldn’t properly apply lipstick despite endless practice and, when she did try, she looked silly. Then, as if by magic, Laura acquired the knack and looked as if she had been wearing lipstick all her life. Now when she looks into the mirror, the face she sees has grown up. She’s old enough to wear lipstick.”

–What Teenagers Want to Know


vintage+makeup+for+tv

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Blueberry Water Eye Wash: To make this wonderful eye wash take a good handful of blueberry flowers and soak them in boiling water, infusing for several minutes. Strain out the pulp and wash the eyes with warm compresses of the lotion. Equally helpful here is an infusion made from linden-tree which, when applied on the eye, reduces wrinkles.

Demasker and Beautifier: In the absence of sophiticated creams we can use cow’s milk as a demasker to remove make-up, and use fresh whole cream as a nourishing base and beautifier. Use externally only. A good rub with dairy products will do more good that poor quality creams and lotions.” (from Granma’s Attic)

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via genibee - flickr

(1935 make-up advice for aging women via genibee)

(top image via Old Magazine Articles)

Sandpaper Kisses

“Most women have soft, tender skin (setting number 1 on your Gillette adjustable razor). When you lovingly rub your scratchy, stubbly beard across her sensitive epidermis, she may want to give you a swift kick in the butt. It hurts, and it can leave her skin red and inflamed. Just to give you an idea what your stubble can feel like to a woman, imagine the sensation of having your beard rubbed back and forth against the velvety, sensitive skin of your penis. Like a coarse grade of sandpaper, right? So smarten up. Don’t turn a girl off with your abrasive kisses. Shave before making love.”

The Sensuous Man

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Somewhere out there is the unfortunate fact-checker who had to make sure the sandpaper-to-penis thing was correct.

September Hussy of the Month

September hussy

It is time to kiss the last sweet days of summer warmth good-bye. Thankfully, this means we also earn a reprieve from a season’s worth of scurrilous water-wear. With her bathing suit’s plunging neckline and her barely covered thankles, this month’s hussy has caught many a male eye. And for this she is to be ashamed and shunned.

Image via Shorpy; thanks to Phineas for the find.

On the Hersteria Wishlist

Oh, to own this album!

Tracks for the fellas include “Getting the Most from Your Secretary” and “Little Man You’ll Have a Busy Day.” Ladies can enjoy such hits as “How to Love a Man If You Aren’t Pretty” and “How to Talk to a Man in Bed.”

All you phonograph record collectors out there, please keep an eye out for me!

Wave Your Hands in the Air: Words of Advice

Hair

Regular shampoo to keep your hair looking its best can be done every three days or once a week. It depends on the smog you’re subjected to and also on the amount of oil in your scalp. Lie in a reclining position to bring blood to the head and pull your hair near the roots. Consult the bicycle exercise in this album that brings the blood to the head.

Hands

A man loves to hold graceful hands. It’s quite often a problem for a woman to keep her hands graceful and attractive with all the housework she must do. Water and heat are very aging to hands. Always wear rubber gloves when washing dishes or any other chores that require putting your hands in water. Use insulated gloves when you are cooking or when your hands are near heat, and especially when you have to reach into the oven. Practice a graceful position with hands up, since when you hold your hands down, the veins stand out and make them look ugly.

–How to Keep Your Husband Happy (LP)

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These are only two of the helpful hints given by Ms. Drake on her LP. I’ll include more later.

Thought: Wouldn’t one wear insulated gloves when getting food out of the oven because of, oh, I don’t know, third-degree burns?