Of Babies and Brains

“The most wonderful of all the changes which attend pregnancy are those in the nervous system. The woman is rendered more susceptible, more impressible. Her character is transformed. She is no longer pleasant, confiding, gentle, and gay. She becomes hasty, passionate, jealous, and bitter. But in those who are naturally fretful and bad-tempered a change for the better is sometimes observed, so that the members of the household learn from experience to hail with delight the mother’s pregnancy as a period when clouds and storms give place to sunshine and quietness.

In some rare cases, also, pregnancy confers increased force and elevation to the ideas, and augmented powers to the intellect.”

–The Physical Life of Woman

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Elevated ideas and increased intellect?! Why, isn’t growing a human inside of her enough? The nerve!

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Dear Readers! You may notice the shiny new blog banner as done by Ms. Erin Burke of Yardsale. While I really liked the B&W option – particularly the nutso look in the perfume lady’s eyes – I ultimately chose the red banner (even though my friend Phineas deems it “not disapproving enough”).

No, Trust Me, You’re Miserable

“As for happiness, those who think they can best attain it outside the gentle yoke of matrimony are quite as wide of the mark. Their selfish and solitary pleasures do not gratify them. With all the resources of clubs, billiard-rooms, saloons, narcotics, and stimulants, single men make but a mock show of satisfaction. At heart every one of them envies his married friends. How much more monotonous and more readily exhausted are the resources of woman’s single life! No matter what “sphere” she is in, no matter in what “circle” she moves, no matter what “mission” she invents, it will soon pall on her.

Would you see the result? … Some of them are sad stories, and this is one of the saddest: Of those unfortunates who, out of despair and disgust of the world, jump from bridges, or take arsenic, or hang themselves, or in other ways rush unbidden and unprepared before the great Judge of all, nearly two-thirds are unmarried, and in some years nearly three-fourths. And of those other sad cases — dead, yet living — who people the madhouses and asylums, what of them? Driven crazy by their brutal husbands, do you suggest? Not at all!”

–The Physical Life of Woman

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Bachelors and bachelorettes! We know you are miserable! STOP PRETENDING TO BE HAPPY!

The Story of Manhood

“The first lesson which the father teaches his son is the story of manhood and the secret of virility. He describes what it means for a boy to grow into a man, and how, after a brief period of lank, awkward, self-conscious clumsiness, the boy develops masses of muscles on shoulders and chest, upper arms, forearms, back, hips, thighs, legs. When these muscles come under the control of his will, as they should in his later teens, he will have received from mother Nature “the three B’s” of young manhood, namely, Bone, Brawn, and Brain, so that at eighteen years of age, the young man should be able to stand out before the world, broad-shouldered, deep-chested, erect, supple, hard-muscled, fiery-eyed and resourceful, full of initiative and will power, ready to get into the world’s work.”

Dr. Hall’s Sexual Knowledge

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Broad-shouldered…

Erect…

Supple…

Fiery-eyed…

Hard- …

Oh dear. Someone fetch me a fainting couch!