Q: Are You Attractive? A: No.

You know what’s really unattractive? You, probably. At least according to Esquire’s Handbook for Hosts, published in 1949.

How Attractive Are you

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Wait, how did they get your senior picture? Anyway, the advice goes on to assure you that you’re doing everything wrong.

are you attractive 1

Boozer? BOO! And remember, no man can love you unless he has proper lumbar support.

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are you attractive 2

I find it best to simply never cultivate any interests whatsoever. You never know when Mr. Right may need your undivided attention!

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Read the rest of the advice at Worker Dandyist International — thanks to Rose for sharing!

Trouble in Mind: Those Sex-Obsessed Americans

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“Compared to foreign women, American women are sexless. But their minds are almost constantly on sex. The American woman dresses sex, talks sex, dreams sex, reads sex, smirks sex, pretends sex, hints at sex, smells of sex, slinks sex, dances sex and wiggles sex, but take it from Mortimer, she is a cold, sex-starved potato. Her chief interest in men is what she can get out of them – or how she can enslave them.”

Women Confidential

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Frankly, this all sounds exhausting. But what do I know — I’m just a cold potato.