Idle Hands Holding Other Idle Hands Are the Devil’s Workshop

“Be a lady. Let Bill open doors for you if he’s so inclined. No hand-holding during the movie even if he insists and you’d like to. It may be a test to see whether you’re an easy mark. No point in being Puritanical, but don’t let your standards drag. It might be heaven for the duration of the movie, but you might never see him again, so play your cards carefully.”

- Date Data

.

Remember girls: Holding hands while watching a movie will get you pregnant.

Also, watching a movie will get you pregnant.

You know what, it’s better if you just stay home. Alone. With your cats.

Daaaang, Girl! It’s the January Hussy of the Month!

I can’t quite put my finger on what makes this woman a brazen hussy. Her short sleeves, perhaps? The hustle of her bustle?

Whatever she’s doing, it’s attracting far too much male attention, and thus it must be rife with sin.

.

Une dame vraiment bien (“Very Fine Lady”) by Louis Feuillade, 1908

(By the by, the music totally makes this video.)

Little Bouncing Baby Sword of Damocles

“To save herself from the disgrace of an illegitimate child she may have an abortion produced; the abortion may have no bad results, but it may, if performed bunglingly, leave her an invalid for life, or it may kill her outright. If she is so unfortunate as to be unable to get anybody to produce an abortion, she gives birth to an illegitimate child, which she is forced in most cases to put away in an institution of some sort where she hopes and prays it may die soon–and, in general, it does. If it does not die, she has for the rest of her life a Damocles’ sword hanging over her head, and she is in constant terror lest her sin be found out. She does not permit herself to look for a mate, but if she does get married, the specter of her antematrimonial¬† experience is constantly before her eyes.”

–Woman: Her Sex and Love Life

.

I find the writer’s point a little odd. “So, uh, you know. . .¬† don’t bungle the abortion.”