Remember to vote today, dear readers!
(Awesome image via Women: Rise Up Now)
(Awesome image via Women: Rise Up Now)
“Be a lady. Let Bill open doors for you if he’s so inclined. No hand-holding during the movie even if he insists and you’d like to. It may be a test to see whether you’re an easy mark. No point in being Puritanical, but don’t let your standards drag. It might be heaven for the duration of the movie, but you might never see him again, so play your cards carefully.”
Remember girls: Holding hands while watching a movie will get you pregnant.
Also, watching a movie will get you pregnant.
You know what, it’s better if you just stay home. Alone. With your cats.
I can’t quite put my finger on what makes this woman a brazen hussy. Her short sleeves, perhaps? The hustle of her bustle?
Whatever she’s doing, it’s attracting far too much male attention, and thus it must be rife with sin.
Une dame vraiment bien (“Very Fine Lady”) by Louis Feuillade, 1908
(By the by, the music totally makes this video.)
Just so we’re clear, I do not endorse this as a holiday gift. I’m not entirely sure what this Kay Martin hussy is planning to give her suitor for Christmas, but intuition tells me it is probably something rather untoward.
(submitted by Mrs. Wendy M.)
“To save herself from the disgrace of an illegitimate child she may have an abortion produced; the abortion may have no bad results, but it may, if performed bunglingly, leave her an invalid for life, or it may kill her outright. If she is so unfortunate as to be unable to get anybody to produce an abortion, she gives birth to an illegitimate child, which she is forced in most cases to put away in an institution of some sort where she hopes and prays it may die soon–and, in general, it does. If it does not die, she has for the rest of her life a Damocles’ sword hanging over her head, and she is in constant terror lest her sin be found out. She does not permit herself to look for a mate, but if she does get married, the specter of her antematrimonial experience is constantly before her eyes.”
I find the writer’s point a little odd. “So, uh, you know. . . don’t bungle the abortion.”
Bathing suit, bicycling costume. . . either way, you’re still a slut, darling.
*For those needing their spectacles, the text reads:
Mother – “Gracious daughter, what an outrageous costume! And those stockings are shocking!”
Daughter – “Well, you see, ma, I hadn’t a bathing suit and was compelled to wear my bicycling costume.”
Mother – “O, well, that’s all right.”*
Once again, I am participating in a themed blog circular as presented by Ms. Rabbit Write. Just as last time we discussed make-up, this entry is for Lady Porn Day. I realize this is a most out-of-the-ordinary topic for Hersteria, but I feel it important to educate the masses as to smut’s place in history and its consequences. I have provided examples of the obscenities to which I refer as well as a handy guide to help gentlemen avoid licentiousness.
Maintain a vigilant and virtuous mind, dear readers, and remember: When you touch yourself, the saints cry.
Miss K. LaMoine
To be honest, this assignment was a bit of a stumper. I naturally assumed that somewhere within my library of antique sex and marriage manuals, an author would have addressed the issue of women and pornography. However, other than instructions on how to keep young girls from masturbating, there was nary a single mention as to a woman’s relationship to the erotic. It didn’t help that until relatively recently, there was barely, if any, porn made for women.
From these findings, I believe we can safely assume that women simply weren’t sexual before 1950. Moving on.
Whereas modern porn is typically an all-or-nothing, take a good look at my how-do-you-do event, 19th- and early 20th-century smut was more evenly mixed. Sure, you could get your overt photos of folks coupling (often while wearing befuddling hats [NSFW]). But more often than not, the available photos and films were simply naughty: women in various states of undress, typically in a specific setting (the kitchen, the country, the boudoir), and almost always with a sly almost-smile.
Can you spot all the things wrong with this photo?
1. nudity and lingerie
3. a woman in the workplace
(pic via Silent Porn Star)
Even if there wasn’t a whole lot to see, there could be a whole lot to see, if you looked hard enough. For better or worse, if a person was of a certain mind frame, the erotic/obscene could be found everywhere, just waiting to muddy otherwise virtuous minds. For some, this constant scanning for obscenities led to wild claims.
“The appeal to the amative and sexual nature is so universal in novels that it might safely be laid down as a rule that no young men or young women should be permitted to read a novel before they arrive at the age of twenty-five.” — What a Young Man Ought to Know (1904)
“Most pornography can be divided into two categories, visual and literary. These days most visual pornography consists of photos, all basically the same. The beginner’s collection shows naked women with emphasis on the breasts and genitalia. Since all females have identical equipment, if you see one, you’ve seen them all. Once the dramatic revelation that women have a clitoris, vagina, labia, and breasts sinks in, there are no more surprises.” — Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex but Were Afraid to Ask (1970)
Ho-hum, vaginas. Which is healthier: panic or boredom?
Um, Miss? I … I don’t think that’s how you fix a bicycle.
(via Mistress Evelyn)
Hersteria’s Guide to Moral Purity
(You may notice that this is directed toward menfolk. I found it unnecessary to provide a similar list for women, as decent ladies do not harbor such thoughts.)
Gentlemen! Do not dwell upon the following:
• A lady’s bloomers or knickers • Ladies wearing trousers
• Irises • Velvet-lined gloves
• Stockings • Muffs
• Lemon meringue • Omelets
• A well-folded beach blanket • Bicycle seats
• Mason jars • Drapery tassels
• Bare ankles • Partially closed draperies.
• Bowling pins • Voting booths
• Side saddles • Boules of freshly risen dough
• Peach halves (with or without syrup) • Un-salted mackerel
• Conch shells • Dart boards
• Bananas • Billiard pockets
• The works of Georgia O’Keefe • Doilies
• Dictaphones • Hat pins
• Hat boxes • Vulvas
Sexy is where you find it.
*Thank-you to Mr. N. Marshall, Mr. J. Crock, Mr. P. Jurgaitis, and Mr. J. Thaxton for their help in list-making.