Job Hunting? It’s the Hersteria Career Counselor!

Stymied by your current career? Don’t know what direction to turn? Don’t worry, my ducklings, for Miss K. LaMoine has come to your aid!

Now, we all know the gentler sex should remain in the home to take care of the family or (assuming the woman’s barren) maintain the house and clip coupons. But the sad truth is there are some women who simply cannot catch a man and therefore must enter the workplace. A wonderful tool for the working gal is What Shall I Be?, a thoughtful compendium of job opportunities.

what shall i be

Ladies may choose to be a teacher, nurse, flight attendant, ballerina, actress, or model. If you’re unsure what direction to take, there are helpful cards to identify your good and bad traits and determine what option would best suit you.

career traits

But what about the menfolk? Don’t worry – Hersteria has plenty of options for the job-hunting gentlemen.

jobs

Time to polish up that resume! Good luck, job seekers!

(Images via Awesomenator and Bohemian Season)

Spankings All Around!

“Women have been freed from the cookstove and the nursery. But they cannot be freed from the physical facts of life. Careers are only for the few who are career-minded and career-able. At that, many a career woman would gladly chuck it all for a man with guts enough to lift her over his knee and spank her roundly on the buttocks.”

–Women Confidential

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.Sounds like a dare to me.

Now, Where Did I Leave My Femininity?

“While women have always been the aggressors — in a highly hidden non-aggressive way — the shortage of males now makes it even more necessary for them to become more predatory in seeking males on the make. Her entire role in life is to snare him into marriage or otherwise — failing which she becomes a career woman. Many women who have successfully snared also become career women after discovering that what they’ve snared isn’t a man. Many who begin as career women also get married, hoping to become women again. Usually they don’t.”

–Women Confidential

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Okay, let me break this down for you:

1. Women are passive-aggressive predators.

2. Women trap men and force them into marriage.

3. Failing this, she will get a job.

4. If she succeeds, she gets to retain her womanly status and is saved from facing the cruel working world by her manly husband.

5. Unless he’s a total gay.

6. Women who are married AND also have a career have somehow misplaced their femininity.

7. Probably while shopping. Ha ha! Women, amiright??