Choose Wisely!

It all begins with cigarettes and self abuse, fellows!

Two Paths: Boy

“But Miss K. LaMoine!” you say. “Surely the delicate sex is not also capable of wandering down the wrong path!”

My dear Readers, it is terribly all too true. Take heed.

Two Paths: Girl

A hearty thanks to Miss Emily W. for sharing this important information.

Nag Number 684

“Teenagers can help reduce family friction immensely by recognizing why their parents behave as they do and by keeping a lid on their own tempers. Try a good-natured approach: ‘Oh, mom, you know I’m too old to take orders like that,’ or a slightly humorous approach: ‘That’s nag number 684 on the subject of unhungup pajamas.’

–What Teenagers Want to Know


Nag numbers 685-693 are regarding the Victoria’s Secret catalogs stowed under the mattress.

I’m Working on a Master’s in Making Out

“Beware!!! You are wandering off the beam if you think petting is a preparation for marriage. Call it spooning, necking or what you will, but no matter how we varnish our vernacular, it is taboo for you. Don’t take chances with the undisciplined passions of youth.

Femme Fatales, when you are working for an M.R.S., you can’t jump off your pedestal for a moment. Make purity and modesty your motto and you can still be a keen queen that the fellows with high ideals date.”

Teen Talks by a Teen Ager


Considering the complexities, I wonder if Pinkey’s Special is considered higher ed?

The Catholic Church: Friend of Hep Cats

“So you are going to be married?

Teen timers, if you have a noggin filled with notions about tying the nuptial knot, lend a listen to some straight from the shoulder chatter on the matter of marriage.

First Love

If Jallopy Joe or Jeanie with the light brown hair bob has you cloud hopping when the door bell rings at date time, you are suffering from the acute symptoms of pedigreed puppy love. If you think Tom is tops or Jane is a wonderful girl, all well and good. High school is the time when mutual admiration begins. But — be cautious, Hep cats!!! The accent is on mutual admiration, not intense amour. The three r’s still remain reading, ‘riting and ‘rithmetic, not ‘riting and ‘romance. We cannot mix coy glances and giddy giggles with a geometry proposition or the swoony sensations of first love with ancient history.”

–Teen Talks by a Teen Ager


The Catholic church, ladies and gentlemen!

I recently received this slang-heavy manual, along with several other pamphlets, from my friend Alicia. This was the first one I opened, and my jaw about hit the floor when I saw that it was a Catholic printing. Now I kind of wish there was such a thing as be-bop Mass. Dig?

Painted Ladies (No Make-Up Week Edition)

via old magazine articles


Dearest readers,

Today we’re going to discuss something that affects many of us in varying degrees whether we wear it or not. I’m talking about cosmetics–eye shadow, lipstick, rouge, the whole lot. Ms. Rabbit Write has declared this week as No Make-up Week, and she invites women everywhere to put down the face paint and put some thought into what and why they make themselves up.

Yes, I’m aware that Ms. Rabbit Write is a sex blogger, and a redhead at that. But, like our suffragette sisters before us (and trust me, some of them were total tramps), we must band together for the cause.

In solidarity, I offer the following Hersteria advice and helpful hints.

“A minimum of makeup, applied properly and sparingly, will accentuate natural good looks. The rule is: use less for daytime than evening; less for school than parties; and never, never, apply makeup in public… Remember to sit and stand tall at all times — a ‘slouch’ may look so tired that a boy would fear she’d fall asleep on a date.”

–The Life Cycle Library


“Laura couldn’t properly apply lipstick despite endless practice and, when she did try, she looked silly. Then, as if by magic, Laura acquired the knack and looked as if she had been wearing lipstick all her life. Now when she looks into the mirror, the face she sees has grown up. She’s old enough to wear lipstick.”

–What Teenagers Want to Know



Blueberry Water Eye Wash: To make this wonderful eye wash take a good handful of blueberry flowers and soak them in boiling water, infusing for several minutes. Strain out the pulp and wash the eyes with warm compresses of the lotion. Equally helpful here is an infusion made from linden-tree which, when applied on the eye, reduces wrinkles.

Demasker and Beautifier: In the absence of sophiticated creams we can use cow’s milk as a demasker to remove make-up, and use fresh whole cream as a nourishing base and beautifier. Use externally only. A good rub with dairy products will do more good that poor quality creams and lotions.” (from Granma’s Attic)


via genibee - flickr

(1935 make-up advice for aging women via genibee)

(top image via Old Magazine Articles)

Move Over, Toxic Shock Syndrome

“At this critical period [puberty], the seeds of hereditary and constitutional diseases manifest themselves. They draw fresh malignancy from the new activity of the system. The first symptoms of tubercular consumption, of scrofula, of obstinate and disfiguring skin diseases, of hereditary insanity, of congenital epilepsy, of a hundred terrible maladies, from which have lurked in the child, biding the opportunity of attack, suddenly spring from their lairs, and hurry her to the grave or the madhouse. If we ask why so many fair girls of eighteen or twenty are followed by weeping friends to an early tomb, the answer is, chiefly from diseases which had their origin at the period of puberty.”

–The Physical Life of Woman


Goodness! Those “It happened to me!” sections in YM and Seventeen never prepared me for an onset of madness or scrofula!