Q: Are You Attractive? A: No.

You know what’s really unattractive? You, probably. At least according to Esquire’s Handbook for Hosts, published in 1949.

How Attractive Are you

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Wait, how did they get your senior picture? Anyway, the advice goes on to assure you that you’re doing everything wrong.

are you attractive 1

Boozer? BOO! And remember, no man can love you unless he has proper lumbar support.

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are you attractive 2

I find it best to simply never cultivate any interests whatsoever. You never know when Mr. Right may need your undivided attention!

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Read the rest of the advice at Worker Dandyist International — thanks to Rose for sharing!

Give Grudgingly

Caveat: The book this information is taken from is a reprint, and thus may not be authentic. Even so, these are very wise words to live by. Take heed!


Sex Tips For Husbands and Wives from 1894

• The wise bride will permit two brief sexual experiences weekly — and as time goes by she should make every effort to reduce this frequency.

• Give little, give seldom and above all give grudgingly. Otherwise what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of sexual lust.

• Men obtain a major portion of sexual satisfaction from peaceful exhaustion immediately after the act. Thus the wife must ensure that there is no peace for him. Otherwise he might be encouraged to try again.

• Many women find it useful to have thick cotton nightgowns for themselves and pyjamas for their husbands — they need not be removed during the act.

• Lie still as bodily motion could be interpreted as sexual excitement by the optimistic husband.

• When it cannot be prevented, sex should be practised in total darkness.

• Remain absolutely silent while he is huffing and puffing away – and never under any circumstances grunt or groan while the act is in progress.

• By the tenth anniversary many wives have achieved the ultimate goal of terminating sexual contact. Social pressure will hold the husband in the home.

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(From the learned ladies at Writing Women’s History.)