Idle Hands Holding Other Idle Hands Are the Devil’s Workshop

“Be a lady. Let Bill open doors for you if he’s so inclined. No hand-holding during the movie even if he insists and you’d like to. It may be a test to see whether you’re an easy mark. No point in being Puritanical, but don’t let your standards drag. It might be heaven for the duration of the movie, but you might never see him again, so play your cards carefully.”

– Date Data

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Remember girls: Holding hands while watching a movie will get you pregnant.

Also, watching a movie will get you pregnant.

You know what, it’s better if you just stay home. Alone. With your cats.