How to Manage, I Mean, Treat a Lady

Pillow Princess

“After interviewing scores of high school girls, I’ve discovered the one-two-three formula for making you a date knight on date night.

Interested? Okay, hang onto your hat (if you wear one), because here it comes. You may have heard that girls like the strong masterful type — swoon — and they do, but from a strictly feminine viewpoint, it seems like the idea has been a little misinterpreted.

A girl likes to feel managed in the sense that she is being helplessly swept off her feet into a whirlwind evening that has been planned to the last minute detail, whether it’s a movie with a Coke float afterward, or a swanky dance that calls for formal dress.

She likes to feel subdued because her date seems more capable more intelligent, and better versed in what’s going on in the world than she. However, to interpret “that masterful approach” as meaning that dream boat yearns to be treated as a slave girl several notches lower in a caste system, is to take a jet flight right off the beam. All girls, from the slick chicks right down to the plain Janes, like to be treated like fairy princesses on feather pillows, and the boy who can create this illusion will instantly see in his girl friend’s eyes a reflection of himself as a Greek god.”

Well, this is certainly one way to define “pillow princess,” I suppose.

Gender Roles: A Diorama

“As ethnography teaches us, in every case where there is a question of functional power, woman shows more staying capacity, while man is capable of a greater momentary effort. In the scheme of reproduction the sexual division of labour goes back to the hermaphroditic period; it is indeed the oldest division of labour in the world, and analgously in the history of man, the first economic division of labour was made when the man went hunting or fighting, while the woman stayed at home to keep things in order. So from the earliest times our sexual organisation has been the ruling factor in every detail of our lives. Indeed even before birth we see a picture of the sexual life in miniature, how manfully the sperm-cell marches forward, while the egg-cell stays quietly at home.”

–How to Attain and Practice the Ideal Sex Life


I want to see this illustrated: the sperm-cell commuting to work, and the egg-cell at home, watching her “stories” and smoking a cig. C’mon — who has Ye Olde Photoshoppe?