How to Manage, I Mean, Treat a Lady

Pillow Princess

“After interviewing scores of high school girls, I’ve discovered the one-two-three formula for making you a date knight on date night.

Interested? Okay, hang onto your hat (if you wear one), because here it comes. You may have heard that girls like the strong masterful type — swoon — and they do, but from a strictly feminine viewpoint, it seems like the idea has been a little misinterpreted.

A girl likes to feel managed in the sense that she is being helplessly swept off her feet into a whirlwind evening that has been planned to the last minute detail, whether it’s a movie with a Coke float afterward, or a swanky dance that calls for formal dress.

She likes to feel subdued because her date seems more capable more intelligent, and better versed in what’s going on in the world than she. However, to interpret “that masterful approach” as meaning that dream boat yearns to be treated as a slave girl several notches lower in a caste system, is to take a jet flight right off the beam. All girls, from the slick chicks right down to the plain Janes, like to be treated like fairy princesses on feather pillows, and the boy who can create this illusion will instantly see in his girl friend’s eyes a reflection of himself as a Greek god.”

Well, this is certainly one way to define “pillow princess,” I suppose.

Nice Bow Job.

Hairdo dating cues

Jelly bracelets, men’s earrings, colored hankies in the appropriate pocket… and now a giant bow to infer that Betty Dupree knows that oranges aren’t the only fruit.

Friends, please forgive my absence! A new day job is eating away my waking hours, but I’ve resolved to sneak in some much-needed Hersteria time. Thank you for staying with me these last couple of months as I get reorganized — obviously, YOU are of well-raised, virtuous, well-mannered stock. Also, you’re quite charming and good-looking.

(Image via Retronaut. Thanks to Phoebe for the tip!)