The Six Stages of Mending a Face
(Start upper left, going clockwise)
1. Attach poodle to head
2. Carefully remove eyeball
3. Wail mournfully about state of breast tissue
4. Refrain from biting mirror image
5. Wipe detached kitten paw across cheeks.
6. Success! You look fabulous. Now put grab that skull and go out on the town!
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(Image via Monk Lounge. Thanks to Phineas for the find!)
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Dearest readers,
Today we’re going to discuss something that affects many of us in varying degrees whether we wear it or not. I’m talking about cosmetics–eye shadow, lipstick, rouge, the whole lot. Ms. Rabbit Write has declared this week as No Make-up Week, and she invites women everywhere to put down the face paint and put some thought into what and why they make themselves up.
Yes, I’m aware that Ms. Rabbit Write is a sex blogger, and a redhead at that. But, like our suffragette sisters before us (and trust me, some of them were total tramps), we must band together for the cause.
In solidarity, I offer the following Hersteria advice and helpful hints.
“A minimum of makeup, applied properly and sparingly, will accentuate natural good looks. The rule is: use less for daytime than evening; less for school than parties; and never, never, apply makeup in public… Remember to sit and stand tall at all times — a ‘slouch’ may look so tired that a boy would fear she’d fall asleep on a date.”
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“Laura couldn’t properly apply lipstick despite endless practice and, when she did try, she looked silly. Then, as if by magic, Laura acquired the knack and looked as if she had been wearing lipstick all her life. Now when she looks into the mirror, the face she sees has grown up. She’s old enough to wear lipstick.”
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“Blueberry Water Eye Wash: To make this wonderful eye wash take a good handful of blueberry flowers and soak them in boiling water, infusing for several minutes. Strain out the pulp and wash the eyes with warm compresses of the lotion. Equally helpful here is an infusion made from linden-tree which, when applied on the eye, reduces wrinkles.
Demasker and Beautifier: In the absence of sophiticated creams we can use cow’s milk as a demasker to remove make-up, and use fresh whole cream as a nourishing base and beautifier. Use externally only. A good rub with dairy products will do more good that poor quality creams and lotions.” (from Granma’s Attic)
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(1935 make-up advice for aging women via genibee)
(top image via Old Magazine Articles)