So You Want to Get Married

In honor of my friends Jessica and Nate getting married this weekend, I thought it appropriate to share some much-warranted advice from So! You Want to Get Married! (1947) as shared by The Hairpin.

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So You Want to Get Married 1
First things first. Did he ask your father for your hand in marriage? Did he go straight to the top and ask God? If not, why not? Perhaps you want to rethink marrying such a soulless, father-hating creep.

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So You Want to Get Married 2

This one’s easy: Are you a filthy whore? Check yes or no.

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So You Want to Get Married 4

And finally, there’s the issue of how to keep that ol’ spark alive.

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Personally, I hope never to see the words “love-making” and “sour cream” used together ever again.

Congrats Jessica and Nate! And thanks to Bridget for the link!

That Lovin’ Spoonful: Adventures in Anti-Birth Control Arguments

“The twitching and jet stream of the male orgasm stimulate the female partner toward a sexual climax. In some women, this source of gratification is so important that methods of birth control which interfere with the impact of semen on the vaginal walls greatly impair sexual satisfaction.”

–The Marriage Art

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My lands, was this written by a dude, or what? C’mon, ladies, he’s only thinking of YOUR pleasure!