Heavy Petting Practice with the Sensual Man

Sensuality exercise number 10:

“Finally, and most ludicrously, strip to the waist. Sit down at that same cluttered table with those identical items [fur pillow, bar of soap, cracker, leather glove, handkerchief, silk tie, dish of tepid water, slice of bread, suede t-shirt] –and, with your eyes closed again, rub your body with each item. Again–stop, lean back, lick the bread crumbs off your fingers, and remember the feel of each item. You are training your entire body to be a discerning instrument of sensation.

When you have finished the exercise and your tactile sensitivity has been expanded and refined, strip the rest of the way down and go take a shower. You’ll need it.”

The Sensuous Man

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O,  I quiver at the very mention of “suede t-shirt.” Cold showers for everyone!

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Other sensuality exercises from previous posts:

Uh, Honey, What Are You Doing?!: Sensuality Exercise #3

Thanks, but No Thanks: Sensuality Exercise #5

A Shot (Glass) in the Dark: Sensuality Exercise #7



A Shot (Glass) in the Dark

“Sensuality Exercise Number 7:

Fumble around in your kitchen cabinet until you find a whiskey shot glass. Leaving it empty (for now), cover your mouth with it as you would an oxygen mask, but don’t press it against your face. Now slowly stick out your tongue as far as it will go without touching the sides of the glass. If you do touch the sides, withdraw your tongue and begin again. This time, elongate the tip of your tongue, making it more pointed, and try to go past the point where you touched the glass.

This exercise serves a two-fold purpose. In French kissing, your tongue should be pointed to explore her mouth and meet her tongue. Your tongue is larger than hers–if it’s too broad when it enters her mouth, it may prove uncomfortable and frighten her.

Secondly, when stimulating the clitoris orally, the tip of your tongue should encircle the small shaft and only flick across the top of her clitoris.

If you don’t understand this now, you will later.”

The Sensuous Man

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If you don’t understand this entry now, you will when you get a knee to the jaw.

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Update: Here are a few other sensuality exercises from other posts:

Uh, Honey, What Are You Doing?!: Sensuality Exercise #3

Thanks, but No Thanks: Sensuality Exercise #5

The Sensual Man Presents: Sensitivity Training: Sensuality Exercise #10



Thanks, but No Thanks

Sensuality Exercise Number 5:

You can usually tell a good lover by his tongue. If a man can make his tongue flutter like the wings of a hummingbird, or use it to nail flying insects from across the room, then he has an erotic instrument of incredible value–particularly when it comes to tickling a woman’s clitoris.

Here’s your first tongue exercise: Stick it out. Now, keeping it stiff, move it from left to right like a windshield wiper, touching the edge of the mouth each time. Do this exercise for thirty seconds initially, and slowly work up to sixty seconds. An effective psychological aid for this one is to pretend that you’re William F. Buckley, whose tongue would be marvelous for sex if it could be domesticated.

This exercise is specifically designed to prepare you for ‘The Velvet Buzz Saw.'”

The Sensuous Man

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Words and phrases used in this description that guarantee the author should not be allowed near anyone’s how-do-you-do:

tickling

windshield wiper

buzz saw

“nail flying insects from across the room”

William F. Buckley

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Update: Here are a few other sensuality exercises from other posts:

Uh, Honey, What Are You Doing?!: Sensuality Exercise #3

A Shot (Glass) in the Dark: Sensuality Exercise #7

The Sensual Man Presents: Sensitivity Training: Sensuality Exercise #10



Uh, Honey? What Are You Doing??

Sensuality Exercise Number 3

Here’s one you better do in private, since it slightly resembles a grizzly bear scratching himself by rubbing against a tree. Stand with your feet about eighteen inches apart, holding on to the back of a straight-back chair. Be comfortable, free of tension. Thrust your pelvis forward and back ten or twenty times, not rapidly, but steadily. Occasionally, in the forward-thrust position, rotate your hips slightly.

Now, pretend that you are listening to one of those ripple-muscled freaks crooning over the radio: “Forward-back! Forward-back! Forward-back! Upsee-daisy, now forward-rotate-back…”

Do you realize that millions of housewives spend countless hours every week carrying on like this?

Anyway, this exercise will strengthen your lower back muscles, enable you to penetrate deep into the vagina numerous times without tiring, and cause you acute embarrassment if you are caught at it.”

The Sensuous Man

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Worst. Wii Fit game. Ever.

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Update: Here are a few other sensuality exercises from other posts:

Thanks, but No Thanks: Sensuality Exercise #5

A Shot (Glass) in the Dark: Sensuality Exercise #7

The Sensual Man Presents: Sensitivity Training: Sensuality Exercise #10