Midol Mini-Post

It’s been very busy at Hersteria HQ – we recently moved to a new house (yes, again) and are in the process of emptying a house that we sort of inherited. That means going through 50+ years of a family’s belongings, which, let me tell you, means a lot of nicotine-stained tchotchkes.

But my housework has not all been for naught! For instance, this amazing, baffling – and amazingly baffling – promotional item from Midol.

Hersteria PMS Midol shiv

Personally, I know a box cutter would certainly help when I’m mired in the PMS crazies. File this under: Shark Week Shiv.

There are Communists in the Funhouse

Oh, the many terms by which we refer to menstruation!

“It is also called the catamenia or catamenial flow. Other terms are: the periods, courses, monthlies, turns, monthly changes, sickness, flowers, to be unwell, to be regular.”

–Woman: Her Sex and Love Life

Of course, while catemenia certainly does the job, there are plenty of other euphemisms to refer to this monthly event, including these international phrases, gleaned from The Gloss and Flow: the Cultural Story of Menstruation, by Elissa Stein and Susan Kim.

• The Netherlands: “The tomato soup is overcooked”
• Brazil: “I’m with Chico”
• China: “Little Sister has come”
• many parts of Latin America: “Jenny has a red dress on”
• Australia: “I’ve got the flags out”
• Denmark: “There are Communists in the funhouse”
• Ireland: “I’m wearing a jam rag”
• England: “I’m flying the Japanese flag”
• Japan: “Little Miss Strawberry”
• France: “The English have arrived”
• Germany: “The cranberry woman is coming”
• Puerto Rico: “Did the rooster already sing?”
• South Africa: “Granny’s stuck in traffic”

I also put out the question to followers of the @hersteria Twittergraph. Here are some favorite answers. So many aunts visiting and Soviets invading!

“Riding the tomato boat” and “Aunt Millie is visiting” – Tammy

“‘The eagle has landed, I repeat, the eagle has landed. Anyone have a landing pad?’ That’s what I heard in high school. Lutherans, eh?” – Jim

“Red Dollar Day Sale” and “a visit from Aunt Flo” – Wendy

“Ride the cotton pony”

“Crimson tide! I was salty when I realized that was the nickname for Alabama, I thought I made it up.” – @DazzlingRayn

“The painters are in” and “shark week” – DJ Intel

“fallen to the Russians” and variations of “my friend” – Rose Red

“Riding the crimson wave, god’s gaping gash, walking the red line, bloody hell Mary, river runneth red, Dexter Morgan’s crime scene” – boots electric

“BLABBT (Bleeding Like A Big Bleedy Thing)” – Amy C