Dating for Duds: If She Says ‘No’

mystery date snowboarder

Sorry, Popular Guy – I have to wash my hair that night.

“Boys have a lot of pride (so do girls for that matter) and they hate to have a pin stuck in it. (Who doesn’t?) Having ample grey matter, they realize that in asking for a date they run the risk of being slapped on their egos with a brisk, ‘No!’

Just between you, me, and the gatepost, the risk is pretty slight – but in all fairness we must recognize that it is there. Most girls love to date and adhere to the philosophy that the more parties and boy friends the better. In fact, boys, ‘No’ is one word that is few girls’ vocabularies.”

Date Data

Meanwhile, the rest of this book is pretty much dedicated to telling girls how to stop the boys they’re dating from getting too fresh. Le sigh.

Dating Disasters: Should You Go Dutch?

hersteria_big deal going dutch

“Maybe you feel a little guilty knowing that at least three-fourths of Bill’s allowance goes down the bottomless pit labeled ‘steady dating.’

Should you share part of the burden? If so, how? Some girls have gone topsy-turvy on this score and have established a revolutionary system in which the girl pays 50 per cent of the bills.

Sounds wonderful, but almost always it flops. Boys usually like the system at first, but after a few dates in which they play second fiddle, they begin to feel like sissified heels and their eyes begin to wander to the glamor girls (not gold diggers) who make them toe the mark.

In the beginning the girl feels important and useful, but about the third date she begins to feel she is not out with a masterful, masculine boy, but a real Caspar Milktoast. Can she idolize this sort of boy? No! Emphatically no! Soon she is looking down her nose at him and admiring the fellow who will date her only half as much but will take the lead in everything.”

Date Data

Takeaway: Sharing and equality will only bring ruin and send everyone running to unhealthy, controlling relationships. (Side note: Is there such a thing as a “masterful” teenage boy?)

(Image via Collecting Children’s Books)

Keepin’ It in the Family

On “Snaring That First Date”:

“Maybe you are one of those lucky creatures with a male cousin who holds either a high junior or senior status in another high school. If that’s the case, you hold an ace card. Explain your woes to Aunt Jane, who is sure to respond in motherly fashion and see to it that Cousin Johnny suddenly decides to ask you to the Christmas dance.”

Date Data

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Oh, we’re only on page 5 of Date Data, and already we’re in a muddle. There’s nothing uncomfortable with having your whiny, lonely younger cousin foisted on you as potential dating material, is there, fellas? Hm?

I also have a nitpicky problem with the phrase “a high junior or senior status.” It’s not like you’re ultra cool and thus become a senior (believe me, I managed to become one and avoided any semblance of coolness).

Or perhaps the author is inferring that the junior or senior in question has been smoking those jazz cigarettes. Oh my

Nag Number 684

“Teenagers can help reduce family friction immensely by recognizing why their parents behave as they do and by keeping a lid on their own tempers. Try a good-natured approach: ‘Oh, mom, you know I’m too old to take orders like that,’ or a slightly humorous approach: ‘That’s nag number 684 on the subject of unhungup pajamas.’

–What Teenagers Want to Know

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Nag numbers 685-693 are regarding the Victoria’s Secret catalogs stowed under the mattress.

I’m Working on a Master’s in Making Out

“Beware!!! You are wandering off the beam if you think petting is a preparation for marriage. Call it spooning, necking or what you will, but no matter how we varnish our vernacular, it is taboo for you. Don’t take chances with the undisciplined passions of youth.

Femme Fatales, when you are working for an M.R.S., you can’t jump off your pedestal for a moment. Make purity and modesty your motto and you can still be a keen queen that the fellows with high ideals date.”

Teen Talks by a Teen Ager

 

Considering the complexities, I wonder if Pinkey’s Special is considered higher ed?

Mirror, Mirror

“Billy only a few months ago had round chubby cheeks. One day he looked in the mirror to realize that his face is longer and thinner, more masculine.

Laura couldn’t properly apply lipstick despite endless practice and, when she did try, she looked silly. Then, as if by magic, Laura acquired the knack and looked as if she had been wearing lipstick all her life. Now when she looks into the mirror, the face she sees has grown up. She’s old enough to wear lipstick.”

What Teenagers Want to Know

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Apparently women eat an average of seven pounds of lipstick during their lifetime. So while Bill’s mug magically transforms him from plump kid to chiseled hottie, poor Laura is cramming more lipstick into her craw.

How to Train Your Teenage Boy

“Some boys can’t quite do the asking face-to-face the first time; they feel more comfortable using the telephone. But whether personally or by telephone, the first rule is to ask a girl for a date at least a week in advance. Girls don’t like being called at 7:30 to do something at 8:00 that evening.”

–The Life Cycle Library

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I mean no offense to our male readership, but I can’t imagine any teenage boy having the wherewithal to ask a week in advance for anything.