Hersteria’s 2012 Holiday Gift Guide!

Christmas booze bird

Hello, my darlings! Stuck for a last-minute gift? Last year’s Hersteria holiday gift guide saved many folks who found themselves in a present-buying pickle. This year I’ve found even more gifts that are bound to please even the crabbiest Scrooge on your list.

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Lady Gifts

hongkiatcom:blog:
Want to piss off your friends and neighbors? Buy the lil’ lady a sun lamp!

For more of that pampered, “fresh from a bath house” feeling, consider the Vibrafinger “gum massager!

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oddballdaily

No hair? No problem! Even women with alopecia will enjoy bathing their scalp in hot air with this hairdryer.

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Manly Gifts

foundinmomsbasement

Macho smells so manly that a phallic bottle was just obvious.

dailydawdle

We know now much kicking your man does in a day. That’s why we endorse these slacks, featuring an EXCLUSIVE CROTCH GUSSET.

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Gifts that Keep on Giving

bust cream_retronaut

You’d think Bust Cream would be just for the ladies, but YOU WOULD BE WRONG. Bust Cream can be also used as Food, making it a great gift for any couple (or hungry person) on your shopping list.

akai tap player ad

Chick History recommended this Akai video recording system. And since it comes with an invitation from a Penthouse Pet to attend a video taping session with them (?!), it truly is the gift that keeps on giving.

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(Images via Found in Mom’s Basement,  hongkiat.comThe Oddball Daily, Daily Dawdle, and Retronaut)

The Yeastie Girls: Become the Queen of the Beach!

Ah, the days of Jayne Mansfield, Tura Satana, and other voluptuous broads… back when the media-as-Jewish-grandmother begged you to eat, for heaven’s sake EAT something. Check out these two ads promoting weight gain — sort of a Charles Atlas for the ladies. 

yeast_gretchen

That’s right – thousands of sex-appealing curves. Start counting, boys.

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yeast appeal_anne

“My, you’ve filled out at an unhealthy rate! Would you like to be my steady?”

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(Side note: What in good heavens are my friends trying to tell me? Both Gretchen and Anne sent me these ads within days of each other. For which I thank them. But still.)