Well! I’m a little confused with the Robin Hood outfit, but no matter. “She took the cash, stayed home” is my new motto.
(image via 16 Stone Vintage)
Tag Archives: vintage
Happy Fourth of July from Hersteria!
Enjoy it while you can, because you’ll be dead tomorrow! Haw haw!
Yikes. Have a happy and safe July 4, everyone — and don’t blow off yer bloomers!
Job Hunting? It’s the Hersteria Career Counselor!
Stymied by your current career? Don’t know what direction to turn? Don’t worry, my ducklings, for Miss K. LaMoine has come to your aid!
Now, we all know the gentler sex should remain in the home to take care of the family or (assuming the woman’s barren) maintain the house and clip coupons. But the sad truth is there are some women who simply cannot catch a man and therefore must enter the workplace. A wonderful tool for the working gal is What Shall I Be?, a thoughtful compendium of job opportunities.
Ladies may choose to be a teacher, nurse, flight attendant, ballerina, actress, or model. If you’re unsure what direction to take, there are helpful cards to identify your good and bad traits and determine what option would best suit you.
But what about the menfolk? Don’t worry – Hersteria has plenty of options for the job-hunting gentlemen.
Time to polish up that resume! Good luck, job seekers!
(Images via Awesomenator and Bohemian Season)
Wackadoo Retro Comic Wednesday: Height Ain’t Nothing but a Number
I suppose in a world where your peers average 3 to 5 feet tall, it’s hard to find a date. But hey, I bet there’s someone really into that.
(image via Sequential Crush, found by Miss Rosamund)
Hersteria’s Guide to Looking Fabulous!
The Six Stages of Mending a Face
(Start upper left, going clockwise)
1. Attach poodle to head
2. Carefully remove eyeball
3. Wail mournfully about state of breast tissue
4. Refrain from biting mirror image
5. Wipe detached kitten paw across cheeks.
6. Success! You look fabulous. Now put grab that skull and go out on the town!
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(Image via Monk Lounge. Thanks to Phineas for the find!)
Daaaang, Girl! It’s the January Hussy of the Month!
I can’t quite put my finger on what makes this woman a brazen hussy. Her short sleeves, perhaps? The hustle of her bustle?
Whatever she’s doing, it’s attracting far too much male attention, and thus it must be rife with sin.
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Une dame vraiment bien (“Very Fine Lady”) by Louis Feuillade, 1908
(By the by, the music totally makes this video.)
Hersteria’s Holiday Gift Guide to the Rescue!
(via Antiques.com)
Yes, my dears, it’s that time of year when every gal pushes her muffler to her cheek and ponders what gifts to get loved ones. Don’t waste another moment on thinking — Hersteria is here to help!
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For the newlywed couple, these prison jammies will remind them that they, too, will one day feel trapped in a loveless marriage!
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For Mother, nothing beats a shiny new toaster! Now maybe she can make an edible piece of toast for once in her goddamn life.
(via MomGrind)
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Oooh, and here’s a little something… special… for the man of the house!
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Is your co-ed daughter still waiting for Mr. Right? Well, this practical record would be a great gift for young ladies who seem unable to catch a husband.
(via Say No to Crack)
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Now, here’s a practical gift for Junior!
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What do you get a bedwetter for Christmas? Apparently a neatly wrapped box of shame.
(via Bedazzled)
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Happy holidays, everyone!
Tips for Single Women
Single women, take heed! It’s because you sit awkwardly and are familiar with the head waiter that you cannot ensnare a husband!
This link contains a helpful illustrated list of dos and don’ts for the single gal of 1938. Good luck, ladies!
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Don’t do this.
(photos via the fantastic Retronaut)
Hersteria Presents: The Perfect Woman!
For millennia, men have sought the perfect woman, and women have sought to achieve that ideal. After countless minutes researching this very issue, I present my findings for you, my dear readers. Let the following photos be your template in your attempts toward Womanly Perfection!
In this illustration, we are helpfully guided by the measurements taken from some of today’s top leading ladies. From this, we know that women should stand 5’4″, weigh 118 lbs, and have the following attributes:
• The eyes of Mary Pickford
• The 33″ chest of Greta Garbo
• And the ridiculously small, possibly bound feet of Ann Pennington. (I was incredulous about the size-3A thing, whatever that means; upon further Googling, girl wore a size 1 1/2!)
However, some may find the above method toward perfection too imperfect. Thankfully, we are able to look to the supercomputer for answers! Today, technology is able to conclusively define the Perfect Woman (as seen in the printout), which apparently includes a toned stomach, a flip haircut, and an oddly thick neck. Please note: Perfection may or may not include a bikini.
Thank you, science!
(image via Black Watch)
The Eyes Have It
Well, it’s not quite the Miss Inner Beauty Pageant, but I suppose this will have to do. I love how the exceedingly creepy judge checks their eyes like he’s fixin’ to buy one of them. Yeesh. Also: yashmak? Was that part of the everyday British lexicon back then?
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Sure, she had to be pawed at by the judge, but at least she won an enormous rose-shaped soap for her trouble! Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Miss Beautiful Eyes of 1958!
(via The Hairpin)