Why, yes, my dear ducklings, it’s the return of the Hussy of the Month! While this 1921 photo apparently depicts “Rubber beauty masks, worn to remove wrinkles and blemishes,” believe you me, these are hussies and they’re up to no good at all. Why, they’re probably writing a manifesto arguing to allow women to show their bare ankles.
(Image via Dangerous Minds. Thanks to Jim A. for the tip! And remember, if you have anything you’d like to share, simply email me.)
It’s been very busy at Hersteria HQ – we recently moved to a new house (yes, again) and are in the process of emptying a house that we sort of inherited. That means going through 50+ years of a family’s belongings, which, let me tell you, means a lot of nicotine-stained tchotchkes.
But my housework has not all been for naught! For instance, this amazing, baffling – and amazingly baffling – promotional item from Midol.
Personally, I know a box cutter would certainly help when I’m mired in the PMS crazies. File this under: Shark Week Shiv.
“Whether or not the virginal membrane has been dealt with by a doctor, the prospective bride should stretch the opening to the vagina for a head start on marital adjustment. Instead of ordinary lubrication, she should generally apply a moderately thick layer of Surfacaine ointment to the area and wait three to five minutes for the deadening action of that ointment to take effect. She should then lubricate one finger (preferably one with a short, well-filed fingernail) with more ointment and insert it slowly into the vagina. If long fingernails create a risk of injury or if modesty prevents direct finger contact, a rubber stall can be used. Usually one to five minutes every day devoted to widening the vaginal opening results in proper stretching and relaxation in four to six weeks.”
When watching the video below, I experienced three stages of shock and disbelief. At first, I couldn’t believe how much skin these sordid sisters were showing. Then I was boggled by the song they’re singing–surely, it’s in some kind of code.